I can be intensely shamelessly cynical about a great many things, but never never about love. No doubt this will make many of you squirmy and uncomfortable. I know that seeing someone expressing a belief in the power of love, even the existence of such a primal and subjective emotion, gives a lot of folks a swift pain. “We’re too cool for love, we cannot accept it as a concept, we believe it is the epitome of self-delusion…” I cannot and will never agree. Those of you who find the very idea of love hopelessly un-hip may feel free to look elsewhere for some detached entertainment.
Min Siegel d. 2007
I’ve lost more than a few people and things over the years for which I held a nearly indescribable affection. The first truly epic love of my life ended four years ago when I lost my Min, the one woman I thought I would always have in my life. That loss didn’t dim my belief in love, but it shook my faith in my ability to survive this world and what I held to be true about life. I have written many songs about this experience during these last few years. I sincerely hope I have written all that I need to on that subject.
Today I find I wanna talk about a more joyous perception of existence. This year I feel myself coming back to life, and after 4 years of unrelenting darkness of the soul that’s one hell of a jolt.
WES & CHELSEA in the breakfast nook of "The Fifi" at the Hicksville Trailer Palace
You see: a few months back a young woman walked through my door and stole my heart right out of my chest in a matter of hours. I am not at all sure she’s gonna appreciate my shining this spotlight upon her because she doesn’t share my obsession with spilling my guts in public as a form of art. But as a writer of songs it’s my primary goal… to be as honest and true as my limited abilities will allow. I believe that it’s instantly possible to separate the bullshit artifice from the genuine article when you listen to a song. If it doesn’t ring true it belongs in the circular file. Well, the truth is I have been smitten by this girl in a way I never expected to feel again.
For my recent birthday this adorable creature took me out to the desert to a destination called the Hicksville Trailer Palace, a wacky motel comprised of vintage auto-trailers all tricked-out in hilarious/bizarre themes. We stayed in a purple and gold trailer with chandeliers, a bar, a femme vanity, three glowing wig mannequins (their disembodied plastic heads floating above the bed) and a glorious silence beneath a star-studded desert sky. I can barely remember the last time I was this… happy. So thank you Chelsea, for waking me back up, for renewing my faith in my own worth, for giving me something other than grief to cling to, for reminding me what it’s like to feel that need to cherish and protect another human, for being the new great love in my life.
Mister Nervous' God of drum thunder KELLY and Monthlies.' guitar gal JANA were recently wed.
As I look around me I see many other examples of love’s power to triumph over the daily grind of life on earth. Our awesome drummer Kelly was just recently wed to his lovely and talented lady Jana at a small ceremony, they have moved into a new home and look how joyous they appear. In the coming days our friend Michael (from The Sundowners, a band already near & dear to the heart of Mister Nervous) will be wed to his betrothed Tanya…
It's wedding bells this month for Sundowner MICHAEL and his gal TANYA!
and bandmate Dennis will officiate. More on that awesome weekend kicked off by a public pre-wedding party in Pasadena with The Sundowners, Jinsai and Mister Nervous later on.
I’ve been mostly absent from this space, this blog, for several months now. I was busy being happy and reacquainting myself with that sensation privately. Mister Nervous has not hadda night on the boards since our show back in January with The Monthlies. That’s all about to change Memorial Day Weekend.
Sadly in the midst of this love-fest I must absorb the passing of one of my favorite bands in Los Angeles. The aforementioned Monthlies. appear to be no more. This saddens me because I loved that band beyond expression. The bandmates themselves appear to be doing well: Wes O’Lee and Chris Hall have lovely girlfriends, Jana married Kell, and Nick’s already found another band to apply his sweat and savage beatmaking to. I will miss the Monthlies as a band not only because they are my friends, but because the intensity of emotion called up by some of their songs was/is overwhelming (how many nights did I spend where at some point or another during the set I actually felt I had to keep it together as one or another of the band’s songs brought on a lump in my throat or a moistness to my eyes(?)… whatta sap I can be!). So if The Monthlies rise again I will be standing stage front once more. And that is how I judge what music, to which performers I unashamedly pledge my fandom… you gotta kick my butt with your ability or break my heart with the heartfelt truth of your songs. Nothing else will do.
Yeah, I’m actually a huge cornball: “I wear my heart on my sleeve”… but what the hell’s the use of keeping it in a lockbox? I am still too cynical to believe that songs, or love, will change the world. But they can change your little corner of the world, or – at least – love can change mine.